anxiety 7I had my scan a few days ago and it was really cool.  The doctor put a small camera in my stoma and followed the bag (in my body) to check for any damage, cysts, bleeding, or any number of things that can happen.  With the camera going you could see the one-way valves leading into the pouch.  The pouch was cool, as the camera glided through I could see these little finger-type things moving with the flow of urin.  I have to go back soon and meet with the surgeon because now having bladder infections every month could cause damage to my kidney and then it’s game over.

Today we are working on our anti-anxiety workbook part 7.   We are starting with 2 coloring pages, “Sometimes I win Sometimes I learn” and “It takes a lifetime to learn how to live”.

My Mantra: I am calm and centered. I work hard and I am worthy.  I will make my dreams a reality. No one can stand in my way or hold me back.  I even incorporated my jewelry with my Montra.  I have rings that say “keep Fucking going”, “I am loved”, and Never Fucking Give up.  Remember when making your own mantra always use strong positive words that have meaning to you. always use the present tense. always write in the first person so as to make it personal and in the present time.

Time to Worry
This exercise is tough and will be a challenge. Only allow yourself about 15 minutes of worry time and then you put it aside and start something new to help transition back into a more comfortable state of mind. My personal problem is if I’m worrying I have a hard time letting it go.  It just hangs around looking for the next moment to steal or I just can’t turn it off.  The book does state you can do this multiple times throughout the day but I recommend not having the same worry over and over each day.

I do a form of this technique.  I have severe anxiety when it comes to checking my bank account.  In the past, I never had much money and always had to budget tight.  Knowing my spouse at that time was pissed if I didn’t have enough money for whatever he wanted to do and I would pay the price if he couldn’t.  It’s been 10 years since our divorce and I have gotten myself down to about them minutes before I have to check the account I’ll focus my whole brain on the anxiety and then I stop myself and log onto our bank account.  It also helps that he and I are finished and my husband now tries to make the anxiety easier and appreciate and love him so much for that.

A couple more inspirational coloring pages.  “Be a  warrior, not a worrier.” and “Create your own calm.”

Paradise:
In this exercise were supposed to use our senses and create a beautiful paradise including; what you can hear, taste, smell, or feel.  Are there any animals or people in your paradise?  Does this place calm or disrupt you?  In my paradise, We are on a 120-acre farm with our trailer in the middle of the property.  We would clear about 4acres to build 2 greenhouses, a barn, and 5 50amp RV power stations, with water and sewage. The entire inner square would be surrounded by pine trees, cottonwoods, and maple trees. The inner square would be completely walled in with several different cacti around.  I will be tending the farm and animals. plant a full organic vegetable garden and cannabis garden.  On my farm, I would have chickens, pigs, and goats along with the dogs Raffey and Tigger.

 

 

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