Today 5/20/22

Today 5/20/22

Today 5/20/22I’ve been watching the world over the last couple of years, maybe longer, and these laws, California’s SB 128, Lowering the age of consent, consent laws, and normalizing pedophilia, amongst many others, are crazy, narcissistic, victim-full, and frankly abusive to the everyday person.

Most of you know I was physically, mentally, and sexually abused as a child. Molded into a beautifully broken adult. Brocken adults are easier to control through fear and manipulation, and “if the abuser were any good, the victim wouldn’t even know it was happening.” (Oprah Winfrey)

Victims all around the world are not only being slapped across the face but invalidated and tortured daily. Daily reminders of real demons that now live in their heads and this planet plaguing their very existence of man.

Our leaders can no longer define what a woman is. The people that are supposed to be educated, protective over their people, and help “The People” live, heal, and exist safely are an eco in the past.

We can’t agree on gender, pronouns, or privacy any longer. Upset, our children’s educators must be able to share their sexual content, of one kind or another, with children to be validated enough to make their lives worth living. Anything less is racist. People expect fame and startum for what they do privately, not actual skills they possess. Changing history to benefit an agenda against the common person.

The citizens of the world are drowning. Mental illness is now weaponized and runs ramped. You only need to visit a social media platform, and they all seem to have their own rules and realities.

Inflation is a scary reality around the world. People are starving everywhere and don’t have access to clean water. If you don’t like this reality, all you need do is change the channel…don’t fix anything. Everything and everyone is disposable today.

today 5/20/22People are bought and sold daily into extreme abuse by the 1% as they take “The People’s money, sanity, life, liberty, and happiness. All the while reminding us of how happy we are.

Inviting in a world order to invade, fear-mongering, and take over a country THEY HATE because that makes sense, right? Don’t question authority. Become the Yes Gen all over again.

Defunding the police is the Left’s idea of what precisely…chaos, hate, and bigotry… I don’t know. They call the police if something happens to them, we’re just not allowed that luxury.

The Left seems to be seeing how far they can take some of this bullshit. Pushing the world around and controlling the narrative is crucial to keeping people “woke.”

The Right is conspiracy theories and “racism.” Standing on facts and not feelings. 33% of the American politicians, both Democrats, and Republicans, have some type of felony charges, including embezzlement and sexual crimes. They are criminals. Elect a criminal, and they will change the laws to best fit their criminal ways…

We have forgotten how to be tolerant and respectful and started attacking and blaming. Hurting one another in the name of being offended.

We have forgotten how to report the truth and started the “My Truth” movement, and as much as this writer would love, “My Truth” is seldom “The Truth.”

We have Feminists, liberationists, and misogynists, amongst many others, but no Humanists. Why can’t we all just be people, human beings, you know, THE SAME SPECIES?

We say Yes when we mean no and take no responsibility when claiming Victimhood over either person’s feelings, whether it’s true or not.

today 5/20/22Women take off their clothes and teach “it’s empowering” to girls when. Who actually benefits? All the while benefiting  Men Like Weinstein, Epstein, Prince Andrew, and so many others. Claiming Victimhood as a way of life. When young children have the courage to stand up against their aggressors, grown-ass women don’t say anything and allow the abusers to continue their reign of terror over others while taking movie parts, money, or other tangible THINGS and not protecting the next victim.

Victims are groomed into offenders as a rite of passage. This happened to me, so I’m going to do it to you mentality, preparing the aggressor to harm someone and brainwash them it’s acceptable.

Everyone is over-medicated and plugged in, turning the young into mentally depressed, attention-seeking, woke haters who sit behind a computer screen and act like asses.

Turning our men into revenue sources. At the same time, forgetting to attend to and take care of them and their needs because LGBTQ (Alphabet people) needs are the only needs that count in today’s world. Completely ignoring that in life and love you only as strong as your weakest link.

Celebrities teach our boys to wear dresses and carry purses because some are too afraid to rock the boat or be publicly humiliated and canceled.

As if it were nothing, killing innocent lives after birth and not recognizing a heartbeat as living is acceptable and normal. Turning them into energy, adrenochrome, and so much worse.

Using abortion as birth control over and over with no regard for the damage to their bodies and mental capacity. We don’t consider the daddy genes at all. I’ve met a lot of amazing single dads, and it would be a shame if they didn’t have the opportunity to be a dad.

Men commit suicide at record rates and higher rates than women, and it’s ignored while telling them to “man up.”

We need to remember “We Are The World,” JFK, Journalistic Integrity, humanity, and freedoms that have been lost in translation.

crazy leftistsStop allowing our leaders to embarrass “The People” whom they represent. If a controlling government doesn’t put its best self forward on the world stage, it can and will have consequences… dire consequences.

Teach our kids the difference between truth and feelings without prejudice. It’s ok to have feelings. I actually highly recommend it, but remember, feelings need to be put aside when reporting the truth.

Recognizing and understanding mental illness allows that safe space to grow but not project onto others.

Remind us all to respond, not react. Reacting is one of the world’s biggest vise. One of my biggest vises as well is catching myself reacting to others and absorbing their energy. I take their day as a reflection of me, so when someone yells at me or attaches me in some way, it tears my whole day apart. What did I do? How do I fix it when I just need to accept their opinion as that opinion and move on with my day?

That’s my today, what’s yours!! Mad Love Nicola

 

Manic Monday w/ Free My Cure & Nicola Dickens Episode 5 #MentalHealth

Manic Monday w/ Free My Cure & Nicola Dickens Episode 5 #MentalHealth

manic monday 5.1“Don’t feed the monster.  Often during the day, we feed our anxiety and stress with a lot of small, unimportant things.” These things are really unimportant, but they are poisoning your life. Repeatedly thinking about things feeds the monster and weighs you down, and can even make you sick.  This is a perfect section for this week simply because of having to deal with the pure stupidity surrounding Lazy Days and the excuses instead of fixing anything (and please, no hate towards anyone this is being mentioned during my storytimes, Thank You.) these storytimes are meant to help us document these events and educate new trailer off grider.    When the warranty lady we talked to started saying and repeating 20x, “don’t yell at me,” “I will hang up if you keep yelling,” however, we weren’t yelling, and we explained we were not yelling. We had her on speakerphone and wanted her to hear us. Also, she kept cutting us off, which would piss anyone off.  All I could think was how fast she jumped on victimhood. It was like someone came into her office, and she was putting on a show. Saying all of this for attention because it was close to 5 pm and closing.  I believe we were ripped off by lazy days down to charging us a $1400 gap insurance out of all of this.  But I don’t owe anything on the trailer.

I made my bin out of a cardboard box, pictures of huskies and weed that I could find in some magazines I had, tape, hot glue, and white copy paper.  This exercise took me a bit longer than I expected, but it was fun. I think in the future, I will do a smaller box.  Hot glue didn’t work as well as I thought, but the scotch tape did better than I expected.  During the break after my camera died, Grand Design sent me a private message, and I spoke to the previous representative. She remembered talking to me before, and she called Lazy Days to put a fire under their asses.

The Flower

How are you unique? What makes you beautiful? Instead of writing in this Anxiety book. I wrote down some of the things that make me on a piece of paper.  So if I decide to reuse this book or give it away, it is in excellent condition.  This exercise took me over an hour. I couldn’t think of anything.

1.  Caring, I would help anyone that needs it as long as I know or feel they are honest.  When I lived in a small house back in the day, I had a roommate, and every time I turned around, he was eating my food in the refrigerator that I marked as mine and not replacing it.  One day I got mad and yelled at him. He apologized and told me he lost his job a couple of weeks ago and he was hungry; he was sorry.  Well, I let it slide. I even bought some food for him.  About a week later, I found out he had quit his job. He wasn’t looking for another one and just took complete advantage.  And oddly, I felt terrible for him after that, even when I had to spend $250. to evict him.

2. Thirst for knowledge –  I love learning and reading. That is why I have started some of these self-help-type books and shows.  Even the different cannabis books like The Emporer wears no clothes by Jack Herer and the various educational pieces that the other activists have written throughout the years.

Manic Monday 5

3.   Optimistic – I always try to see the best in every situation.  A perfect example is I asked my hubby for two weeks to bring the drill home so that I could make some drain holes in some bowls I found at bashes, and he forgot. Well, Friday, I reminded him to bring home the drill so I could get the plants potted. He remembered to bring the drill home but forgot the drill bit, so he tried to make a hole in the bowls, and it broke the bottom out on accident.  I thought a moment and remembered I had some extra masks lying around and cut the mask to fit the bottom of the bowl, and it worked perfectly, and no reason to be mad.

4.    I take care of the people I love; I’d do anything for them – My hubby does very little at home. He works every day outside of the home, and I work at home.  I like cleaning and taking care of the little things. I even get up at 3 am to make his lunch every day.  I make his dr appointments. I do the majority of the cooking. I do all of this not because I’m supposed to. I do it because I want to.

5. Smart, not overly intelligent, but intelligent – I usually try to reason through a problem.  I have been looking for inexpensive flower pots to start my exotic flowers thread, and the only ones I can find I don’t want to spend that much on.  I always keep my projects in the back of my mind, so I get ideas when I’m walking through a store.  I found these insulated bowls that kind of look like the solo cup.  I picked up eight of them, and when hubby was trying to make drain holes, he broke the bottom out. It took me a few minutes when I remembered the disposable masks I had and used them as a drainable bottom, and it worked great.

6.  Honest – I am honest to a fault.  I wasn’t always honest when I was a kid to my mid-’20s. I lied if the truth sounded better, I was running from myself and wanted to feel special because I wasn’t.  I lied about my brother and I being twins, lied about money all the time, and lied if the sky were blue, I would call it pink.  After being married to a very dishonest person, I learned to be honest. I found out how it felt and quickly changed my tune. However, my brother will say something weird, like using his info for whatever, and that’s something I never did.

manic monday 57.  Creative – I love creating.  I’ve been working on a couple of cactus skeletons, a flower garden (at a trailer RV resort), my journaling and scrapbooking, and so much more so when I’m stressed, worried, anxious, or nervous.  When I’m feeling exceptionally broken, I will sit down with one of my many projects, put some tunes in, and go wherever they take me, which helps me settle down.

8.  I have no hate for anyone, I have people that no longer exist to me, but I don’t hate.  I no longer have the time or energy to be pissed or hate anyone.  It literally wears me out.

My protective Tattoo Many cultures use tattoos for various reasons, but protective tattoos are also a common practice, so we will design our own.  I designed mine when I got the cancer-free diagnosis.  My protective tattoo is the cancer ribbon with four paintball splatters with a cannabis leaf and Raffey’s pawprint. The ribbon is obvious, but the paintball splatters will be four colors representing the cancers I’ve had purple, orange, marigold, and yellow.  The cannabis leaf because I used cannabis oil to cure my bladder cancer.  Raffey’s pawprint because he has been an amazing service dog, and he’s getting up there in age. This tattoo would be something to memorialize him when he’s gone.

 

Manic Monday w/ Free My Cure & Nicola Dickens Episode 3 #MentalHealth

Manic Monday w/ Free My Cure & Nicola Dickens Episode 3 #MentalHealth

Manic Monday 3.0Another beautiful day with you guys as we travel down the road to better mental health.  Were going to start by identifying our personal values and what they mean to us.  There are many values to pick from so we’re going to pick five of the values we value most.  You may have a lot of the same values as I do but they may mean a little different and that’s ok.  The reason we are identifying our values is that they are a large portion of our personalities and who we are and knowing our strengths and weaknesses.

To clearly identify my values I must first ask myself some questions.  What makes you really happy? What do you like to do and why?  what am I really angry about?  Which people real or imaginary do you admire most and why?  which people real or imaginary do you hate?

1.  What makes me happy?  friends, family, crafting or creating with my hands, Netflix and chill, talking with people online, hubby and pups.  2.  What do I like to do?  working with wood or cactus skeletons, growing cannabis walking with the dogs, videography, photography, and rocks.  3.  What am I really angry about?  The nightmares, my childhood, my brother being taken from me when we were kids, and The BS my mother would use to keep brother and me apart when we were kids and adults. Brother is actually what I call him and I’m not sure where I got it from anymore.  4.  People I admire most?  Robin Williams, Jordan Peterson, Rick Simpson, Russel Brand, and Matthew McConaughey and I admire them for being trailblazers even when it wasn’t popular. 5.  The people I hate and instead of naming them I decided to name their groups so we have Pedos, narcissists, racists, racists, animal abusers, and plain and simply mean people that try to hold you back.

The last section we are going to work on today is a letter to the person that gives you anxiety, fear,  nervousness, and bad feelings.  This letter should tell the reader how you really feel and be honest.  Don’t just say or write down the feelings you have to connect them to your values.  After writing the letter you may decide not to show the person the letter and that’s ok you can do a number of things with the letter however once the letter is written you can burn it, wad it up and throw it away, let them see it, or just file it away but there is no need to re-read the letter because it can bring up more back feeling and hen were back here doing these exercises again, which again is ok.

Last and certainly not least this is the letter i wrote to my mother (who is now dead).

Manic Monday 3.2Dear Mom or egg donor;
I am angry, sad, confused, and generally scared that people like you existed.  How you as a mother could allow the things you did, things you had done to me, and what you allowed.  I understand mental deficiencies because I struggle with my demons.
You thought it was funny when brother literally knocked me out, in fact, you would invite your friends over and have brother repeatedly knock me out while they watched and laughed.  The boyfriends you would bring around would expose themselves to us, punish us by hitting us all over our bodies and faces, being made to eat pieces of soap even going as far as to dip the soap in sugar, taking things away from us to the point that we got to open our Christmas presents one year only to turn around and make us donate them to where ever she thought fit because she was in a bad mood.
I started cooking and cleaning for brother and me when I was about 7 years old because you were high on coke, out of your mind and you weren’t eating.  By the way mom thanks for the eating disorder. Brother and I had to take the public bus 36 miles to school every day and we weren’t allowed home until dark.  But I’m pissed at myself more for looking for your approval that I never got.  You never gave it to either of us.
I’ve recently learned or remembered that I never needed your approval so this is a letter to say goodbye your freeloading days are over I will no longer feed the beast of your memory.
Goodbye and please don’t feel the need to visit because I’m moving on without you or your memory. Nicola
P.S. It has taken me a long time to understand and forgive brother for the things you made him do and then lying to Brother saying in the police report from Uncle Bill, that I said Brother touched me as well and it astounds me how far you would go to damage your children.  Brother was my best friend and protector in many ways and I needed him so you took him away.  Moving every six months took its toll on us kids being we were neer in the same place long enough to make friends.  Fuck You and goodbye. Nicola

 

 

 

 

 

Manic Monday with Free My Cure & Nicola Dickens Episode 2 #MentalHealth

Manic Monday with Free My Cure & Nicola Dickens Episode 2 #MentalHealth

Manic Monday Episode 2 with Nicola Dickens

In an ever-changing world, I find my anxiety, if unchecked, can cause a variety of different and mostly no fun results.  So today, I am starting my Anti-Anxiety journey part 2 here and would love you to join me.

This video and book are to serve as a guide and toolbox, including but not limited to; exercises to understand the mechanisms of anxiety and its impact on your body, mind, and soul.   Exercises to understand your functioning and to free yourself from worries.  Simple tips and fun exercises for light stress management daily.  Practices for long-term stress management.  Exercises to develop your self-confidence.  And coloring pages to help you relax, along with adult coloring pages.

Manic Monday 2

To pick up where we left Off, we will be doing more exercises to try to curb my daily anxieties.  We will be writing a declaration of war to our anxiety and peacefully breaking up with it.  This was a bit hard for me because I’m still angry, and I believe for good reason.  I wrote the letter and then tried to film it, and that hasn’t gone very well and not very well for ten takes.  I decided to give you a small part of the declaration of war, but I will be posting it as a PDF for those who need an example or are just curious.

Next, we have the coloring pages; however, I decided to use my cursing coloring book that I picked up on amazon.  I’ve done a lot of coloring over the last week to escape my abuse story.  Telling these stories about my childhood triggers me and simply weighs me down, and I honestly get pissed.  I was on social media today, well, honestly, I see more and more pedophiles or (MAP), and it pisses me off because this isn’t right.  People are defending these MAP people and slapping every victim across the face!  How dare you put these criminals above the victims.  How dare you invalidate what the victims go through for years, the innocents stolen from the youth. Please make it make sense!!

My body: The physical effects  I feel when I’m stressed in my stomach, my head, and my joints, it also affected my bladder when I had one, and I believe some of the pain I experience is directly related to my mental health because when I’m having an anxiety attach causing nausea, vomiting, stomach and or bowel cramps, hiding or agoraphobia, headache, loss of appetite or restricting what I eat, and pain in the center of my body and believe me it sucks.    What helps calm my anxiety are cleaning, therapy, and my psyc meds. Walking the dogs, talking to the dogs, hanging out with the horses, and coloring.  I think I might try things over the next month and see if it helps yoga, breathing, exercising, watering my plants, and planting my exotic flowers.

Now we are going to make a worries bag and put all of our worries inside, and as you add worries to the bag it will get heavier and heavier.  Some of my worries are probably the same as many people’s, money, property, videos, hospitals and healthcare, bank accounts, and MMJ education.  I did have other worries that I have been able to appease; they still pop up on occasion, and they are my social media comments.  I have learned it’s ok to have opposing opinions, and not everyone will agree with what I have to say (they are wrong, lol), but it’s okay.  Getting everything done every day, especially when it’s unrealistic, It will still be there in an hour or tomorrow.  The Facebook mentality, and I believe you know exactly what I’m saying. And last but certainly not the least, hubby getting mad at me.  My hubby and I are loud people, and when he gets excited, he gets louder. Then I get louder, and then lone and behold, we either hurt the other’s feelings or get into a heated debate, and because of my past, I have flashbacks and the feeling of what happened, and I submit quickly to him.  He usually sees what happened and apologizes or explains his point a little better because a lot of the time, one of us didn’t understand what the other said.

Manic Monday

We will end with my anxiety playlists and who is in mine. 1. Lips of an Angel by Hinder 2 Don’t Let Me be yours by ZaraLarson 3 A Little Bit Off by Five-Finger Death Punch 4 Karate by Anne-Marie 5. Withdrawals by Tom McDonald  6. Popular Monster by Falling in Reverse 7. The Search by NF 8. You Can’t Stop the Girl by Bebe Rexa 9. Graveyard by Halsey 10. Snowflakes by Tom McDonald 11. Dear Alcohol by DAX 12. Boy by Anne Marie 13. Ocean Eyes by Billie Elish.  I also made an angry playlist that helps me express and process my anger.  My angry playlist is 1. Lose You to Love Me by Selina Gomez 2. Love the Way You Lie by Rihanna and M & M 3. Breaking Glass by Limp Biscuit 4. Thunder by Imagine Dragons 5. No Good Bastards by Tom McDonald, Nova Rockerfella, and Brandon Heart 6. Hate Goes On by Struggle 7. God, We Need You Know by Struggle  8. You Should Be Sad by Halsey 9. Did Your Best by Nova Rockerfella 10. Bad Guy by Billie Elish 11. Chop Suey by System of a Down 12.Toxicity by System of a Down.

Thank you to everyone that decided to join me on this journey. I truly appreciate each and every one of you.  Mad Love Nicola

 

Manic Monday Episode One with Nicola Dickens

Manic Monday Episode One with Nicola Dickens

In an ever-changing world, I find my Anxiety, if unchecked, can cause a variety of different and mostly no fun results. So today, I am starting my Anti-Anxiety journey here and would love you to join me.

This video and book serve as a guide and toolbox.   Including but not limited to; exercises to understand the mechanisms of Anxiety and its impact on your body, mind, and soul.   Exercises to understand your own functioning and to free yourself from worries. Simple tips and fun exercises for light stress management daily. Practices for long-term stress management. Exercises to develop your self-confidence. And coloring pages to help you relax, along with adult coloring pages.

banana mimosaI will be using several books to help us lower stress and anxiety levels, starting with The Anti-Anxiety Workbook. This book doesn’t name an actual Arthur, but it does leave us with an email to contact the author at thekarmafive@gmail.com.The about the author page doesn’t give the writer’s name, just that he suffered from severe Anxiety; an unnamed man born in the 80s and has suffered from debilitating Anxiety since childhood. We are responsible for our anxieties so let’s take a little time to heal and improve ourselves.

What is Anxiety? Anxiety is the response to a hypothetical situation that hasn’t come true and most probably won’t ever be true. It’s all in your head. These five words have been said to me a million times by the medical profession, but it is quite accurate in this situation. Your brain is the enemy here, exasperating your fears to the point of extreme fear and/or Anxiety that can make it hard to leave your home like me or debilitating fear when someone you don’t know knocks at the door. I have a condition called agoraphobia which means leaving my home alone can cause what I call earthquakes in my head. Everything gets jumbled. I get extremely dizzy and have passed out.

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, you will also suffer a defeat for every victory gained. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”
― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

 We are going to war with our Anxiety, going to war with a smile and love, so if you are ready, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty so we can finish beautifully like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon. As Sun Tzu says, we must know our enemy as well as we know ourselves. 

Whenever I have some quiet time at home and some bud, I start watching social media, and that’s never a good idea, but what I see A LOT is the Cancellation of women. From Judge Jackson’s refusal to define women saying she wasn’t a biologist to teachers trying to teach sexuality to our children in primary school. I even heard one teacher say she was told she couldn’t talk about sex or sexual orientation to her 3rd graders, but she was going to find a way to add it to the lesson plan every chance she gets.

In Flagstaff, Arizona, I was standing in the Starbucks line to get my coffee when two women, one transgender woman and one natural woman, started a loud verbal confrontation about being in line at the customer service counter. The transgender lady was furious at the other women because she would surrender her place in line because the transgender lady was running late. As soon as the natural woman answered, saying she was in a hurry as well and to wait her turn. When the transgender turned, the entire fight about sexuality ended with the transgender woman ready to throw hands, saying, “Your just jealous because I looked like JLo, when the natural woman replied, “you if she were a crack head.

And we wonder why Anxiety and depression run rapid because of the fear-mongering, entitlement, criminal, and lying politicians reinforcing crap legislation that leads the American people to poverty.  I have often wondered if all the sexualities that the left has pushed for years now.  Are they trying to dehumanize the people causing all of this because it’s easier to control what you own?

 

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