Chapter 2 Prepare for the Road Ahead: “If someone else notices our qualities and talents, we think those parts of us must be worthwhile… We long for someone to discover, admire, and colonize us. But why must it be another person? Why can’t you sail ‘that voyage and explore yourself?” Vironika Tugaleva
Let’s start this show with a moment of silence to remember all the lives lost 21 years ago on September 11.
Affirmation Cube: “Let your light shine.
The power of a daily self-love practice: It’s never too late to learn and practice self-love. Talking to yourself is kind and in keeping you focused on your goals. Self-love can’t grow in the context of shame and insults. I found that my abusers always found a way to insult me and put me down, making it seem like this was all normal behavior, and teaching a child about how to have intercourse was normal. Every family does it, and you learn best with practice. The more skilled you become, the easier it will be to do. A daily dose of self-love sets up a pathway in the brain for self-love to become automatic, allowing self-love to grow. This practice of self-love might be difficult when you first start, but over time it will get easier.
It’s not all bubble baths and manicures: The pampering of bubble baths in this ever-changing world is relaxing, calming, and essential. It’s something that we may not have the time to enjoy for an extended period. Start with five minutes and do it as often as you can. The pampering is fantastic and helps relax in the here and now, but we, as people, demand it. True self-love involves more. It means we develop honesty within ourselves, identify our values, and create an authentic life free from self-harm and self-destructive patterns.
Be Vulnerable: Focusing on others’ needs can be a way of avoiding our own needs, making us feel vulnerable. An essential part of being authentic to ourselves is recognizing our vulnerability. Our feelings of not being good enough, along with our disappointment, sadness, and fears. When going through those deep feelings of depression or anxiety attacks, seek out your primary support system, whether be your spouse, parent, friend, or therapist. They are the main people who help cheer you up and catch you as you fall into depression. You got this!
Be honest: Honesty allows us to thoughtfully speak our minds and express our feelings and opinions even if it upsets others or makes someone else uncomfortable. Suppressing emotions doesn’t make them go away. It just makes them come out later and possibly worse. Honesty when I was a young adult, I had a lying problem, and believe me when I say lying is an addictive behavior. I would lie even if the truth sounded better, and it all stemmed from having a horrible childhood. Who wouldn’t want a different life? I never lied about important things, just stupid shit like my brother and I were twins, owning a jeep, or having parents that loved me. As I got older, the lies got stupider to cover the lies I had previously told until I couldn’t get out from under them. I started warning people, especially kids, about the danger of lying.
Put yourself first: How can we put ourselves first? With the busy lives we all live day after day, putting ourselves first seems like a daunting task that we don’t have time for. Putting ourselves first is highly overrated and gets put on the back burner until Self-love becomes self-love? What’s self-love becomes more of an elusive behavior. Learning to set emotional and physical boundaries allowed me to restore and engage in activities that brought me peace and joy.
Make time for you: Whether you are making time for five minutes to relax in the shower feeling the water and heat of the water, lying in bed meditating, stretching, or exercising. These few moments can help refuel and recharge your batteries and can help your day immensely.
Even five minutes is better than nothing: Showing up for yourself for just five minutes a day or five minutes at a time as needed can also help recharge your batteries or let anger and frustration go from a bad interaction can also significantly improve your mental health. Whatever it takes, right?
Meditation: I try meditation when I’m up at midnight, trying to calm myself. Relaxing, slowing my breathing, and calming my mind. Starting with my toes, relaxing each area and all the way to my hair until I can feel my body relax around me to try to fall back asleep. This method can be used as many times as needed throughout your day or night. Example: Focus on smoking. What does it smell like, look like, and feel like? At 3 am, focus on the hum of electricity, dog breathing, an occasional vehicle on the highway, hubby breathing and sniffling. The pen in my hand and writing, the crinkle of the paper and writing. The crinkle of the paper Refridgerator turning off and on. Leaving judgment behind.
Schedule it so you don’t forget it: I always use this one. As you see, I have the large Happy Planner here, which holds my every move because if I don’t, I will forget it. I have a daily set of questions about my personal well-being in my planner so that I can manage my everyday health. Otherwise, I would forget a lot.
This is the beginning of the self-love journey in our lives. Remember to practice the exercises as needed. Not all of the activities in this book will help you in your journey of self-love but try them once and then custom-fit the activities that help you most. I wish you all the best, and I’m so happy you are taking this journey beside me. Have a beautiful day, and Mad Love. Nicola Dickens
Today we are reviewing Forum cookies. She is a 60/40 indica hybrid with a THC Level of 20-28%. Forum cookies are the offspring of Girl Scout cookies and Durban poison. This is a sauce, and it’s packaged in appropriate containers. This is thick and saucy, making it easier to retrieve all the contents. However, they still need to change the shatter in these containers and put it on a piece of plastic and in the envelopes. Her flavors are sweet, woody, fruity, and earthy flavor on the first inhale, leaving you a sense of calm and relaxation.
The effects are cerebral and uplifting. Medicinally to help treat glaucoma, headaches, migraines, mood swings, stress, and anxiety. This is also a live resign, and live to resign has meant it’s already activated when you purchase. This is great for medicinal effects by either smoking or eating it.
I’m sorry, but I find it funny when I go into a dispensary, and I usually hear older people they want a high TCH level so they can get “higher,” and I think no, it doesn’t work that way. A majority of the time, we will each have our own reactions and experiences. So the rule of thumb is that the THC levels will not decide how “high” you’ll get. First, how heavy of a smoker are you? The heavier a smoker you are, the more you will have to ingest, just like any drug out there, including prescription drugs from big pharma. Is there CBD in it at higher levels and THC at lower levels? CBD is also a sobering agent and counteracting the euphoria effects. Fun fact if you or someone you know is under the influence and can’t handle the effects, give them CBD in any form, and it will sober you up quickly. I call it the melatonin of the cannabis world. Do you lean towards indica or Sativa? How are you consuming your cannabis? There are several ways to ingest cannabis, smoke flower, concentrates, RSO oil, edibles, tinctures, and probably a few others I don’t know. Did you ingest high concentrates like RSO oil? What are the effects of this strain? All of these situations have to be considered when looking at the medicinal effects, and you may still not get the “high” you are looking for.
I cleaned my email out and usually clean the bong, but I completely forgot, and rumor has it you clean out the banger with alcohol, giving you the best taste. We are in our monsoon season, and we’ve had a good amount of rain. If it starts storming, I will pause the video and or re-record. Living in a trailer has its advantages and disadvantages. Rain would be loud, the wind moves the trailer, and the dogs freak out, panting like crazy as they both try to get into my lap. And the sky is getting darker and darker.
Thank you for stopping by my fish bowl, and I can’t wait to see you in the next video! Mad Love Nicola and Free My Cure.
“Practicing self-love means learning how to trust ourselves with respect and be kind and affectionate to ourselves.” Brene Brown
Introduction As a woman caring for so many people and things at a time, The one thing we can all agree on, even when we can agree on what a woman is, is that men and women are different. Process grief, stress, anxiety, and fears are just as different on many levels. And as such, we experience the world differently to a point. So, if you are like me and run busy schedules, I have decided to split this workbook into chapters where you can play, pause, and do the exercises with as much clarity as possible for the best possible effects. I wish you luck on this journey, and I’m so happy you joined me to a better, healthier YOU!!. Mad Love Nicola Dickens
“Women Need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away.” Barbra De Angelis
Book Introduction Embrace who you are with this guided self-love workbook for women
Discover how much there is to love about yourself using this practical workbook for women of all ages. You’ll embark on your journey of self-discovery by learning self-love and immersing yourself in exercises to help you build your self-esteem and improve your relationships.
What sets this self-care journal and workbook apart from other self-love workbooks for women:
Proven techniques—Fall in love with yourself using a variety of compassionate exercises rooted in mindfulness and positive psychology.
Inspiring prompts and motivating activities—Explore all that you are with quizzes and journaling exercises that will help you tap into your emotions and let go of limiting beliefs. Includes writing space for reflection and introspection.
Empowering affirmations—Boost your positivity and nurture yourself using the uplifting affirmations interspersed throughout the book.
Create a life filled with purpose and greater self-love using the Self-Love Workbook for Women.
Part One Let’s Talk about Self-love Before beginning a new journey, you must always require a starting point and an end goal. So let’s lay a foundation and create your road map.
One The Lowdown on self-love “And I would find myself again. Not the same version of me that I was looking for, but a stronger version but a wiser who knew that she was enough, just as she was. A woman who had been tried in the fire came out gold instead of being burnt by it. A woman who finally, after doubting and questioning and striving and hustling for her worth years…Finally, Finally realized that she was and is and always has been…ENOUGH
What is self-love Believing that you are worth it, deserve it, and needs it to survive?
What self-love isn’t a lot of things; however, to make it a little easier if you are always in your head, apologizing for the present, future, and past self, you probably need this book as much as I do. You could probably use this book if you can’t see what you want for your future and focus on strengths and weaknesses. Oddly even being overconfident isn’t great either. Beating yourself always and at every step is harmful to women.
Why do we struggle to love ourselves? Stems from our need to take care of everyone around her. Women naturally, from the beginning, are nurturers, from caring for family and friends to child rearing and caring for their men. Cooking, cleaning, and raising the children. These women’s internal conflict with a strong inner voice constantly beats them up.
Where does a lack of self-love show up for you? I have a lot of self-loathing, so my lack of it is huge. Like many women I’ve talked to, the lack of self-love is all around us, from the internet apps focused on way too much to the critical people you meet out and about and abusive families. I find this a lot in the things I do, and I want to learn how to love myself and try to make my day a little more peaceful on the inside.
Benefits of loving yourself A kinder, gentle you, More energy for living fully, More love to share with others, Healthier relationships with loved ones, No longer dependent on external measures of success, No longer having negativity around them.
Why women should make self-love a priority Self Love is an essential nutrient in our lives. We cannot nourish ourselves fully by practicing self-care and self-compassion.
Reflect and set your intentions Activity
Close your eyes, take three deep breaths, think back to what made you buy this book, relax and open your eyes. You can do this as often as needed, helping you hear the good thoughts.
How to start your self-love journey Ready, set, let’s go! to get ready, you will need to prepare Time, Colored Pens or craft materials, a special place, A ritual, and sensory experience, and An open mind and willingness to be vulnerable.
Challenges you may face along the way? Believing in yourself and hearing past the negative insults my brain throws at me all time.
It won’t happen overnight! Take your time, you may not get it, and in fact, you may not yet, but as we complete this workbook, hang in there. You got this.
How self-love can change your life? Beauty will shine through.
Self-Assessment: Where are you in your self-love journey? I am at the beginning of this process, and as I advance, I’m hoping for a little inner peace if you are on this journey with me; I not only congratulate you and hope for nothing but the best results for everyone.
Book Information Self-Love Workbook for Women: Release Self-Doubt, Build Self-Compassion, and Embrace Who You Are (Self-Help Workbooks for Women)
written by Megan Logan MSW LCSW https://www.amazon.com/Self-Love-Workbook-Women-Self-Doubt-Self-Compassion/dp/1647397294
This morning I made an Instagram post referring to Map’s Groomers, pedophiles, and rape sexuals. I stand by that post. As a child of physical, mental, and sexual abuse and a domestic violence survivor and rape victim, I will no longer support the LGBTQ community. I do this with a heavy heart. The members of the LGBTQ have been abused and thrown away by these individuals; however, they say nothing when allowing inclusiveness. These are NOT sexual orientations. It’s a CRIME. Allowing this is slapping every victim across the face. This is so wrong and heartbreaking. I hope to reunite with the LGBTQ soon to help them stand against this BS. Thank you, Mad Love Nicola.
Discover how worry is in your way. How is worry in your way? What does it prevent you from doing? From enjoying? In each blank space on the map, you will draw or write out one way this worry stands in your way.
Be able to go outside and talk to people. 1. No friends to see in person
2. Sometimes, in seeking medical attention
3. Experiencing friendships and all their ups and downs
4. Anxiety attacks being outside my fishbowl and being able to get my words when talking to people face to face.
5. Earthquakes in my head
6. Black Friday, I’ve never considered going into a mall. I have a glass of an alcoholic beverage.
7. Public Events
Pop a balloon Sometimes the best way to defeat a worry is by actually destroying it. Write the worry in the balloon and pop or destroy it as you let go of worry. Some of my worries are:
Money * people * Government
Communication between hubby and I.
The Truck and Trailer *The country and her people
Leaving the trailer when hubby is not here.
My Sons & Grandson *finding a property.
Draw your happiness I’m not an artist and can’t draw, but I’m so much better with words, so I’m proud of myself. Writing again
working on my mental health
My health is starting to get better
Giving myself an adjustment. I do feel like I’m doing better.
Time with The family.
Scribble your way to sleep I have been doing this for quite some time, and I keep it in actual real-time. On my calendar, I keep track of the amount of food I eat, feel, nap, meds, journal, exercise, calendar, video coffee, groomed, comments, water, slept. Following and tracking this has helped me greatly. I keep track of my daily accomplishments in the guided journal I bought from Happy Journal, which has really helped. I’m trying to get on the log every evening, but I’m getting better little steps, am I right?
Color your way to calm: Koi Pond Swim with the fishes as your worries are splashed away. Coloring is either a relaxation, clearing your mind and thinking of nothing, or it gives you time in your head to help process the day or think about something. I personally use both when I’m coloring, and I use both. I don’t color often, but when I do, I’m stressed out and having a hard time with something.
Do the Animal ABC
If coloring isn’t enough, find a way to distract your mind. Distract your mind for a couple of minutes with a challenging activity. Play a game like the Animal ABCs. This should help you relax the worry.
Thank you for stopping by my fishbowl, and I can’t wait to see you in the following video!
First, I want to thank everyone who has hung in there with me. It’s been a rough two years physically and mentally, and you guys are still with me. Thank you for joining me on Manic Mondays and Worry-free Wednesdays. I feel some of the anxiety or worry away has started to level off a bit. How about you? Has it helped you? Even some retraining of your mind may take a longer period. I have been a bit depressed lately and find it difficult to concentrate, sleep, eat, and do my favorite activities. I think of death more often. Not only suicidal ideation but natural causes, being shot(and if you don’t see or know someone is going to shoot), did they go dark, will they realize they were shot? Can someone lie down and sleep and not wake up again? I think you get the picture. That is why I make as many videos as possible when I’m feeling ok, so I have a bank when I don’t feel well.
Self Care Checklist
Food, feeding, meds, exercise, video, groomed, water, nap, journal, calendar, nighttime sleep. I keep a self-care journal where in my calendar under the day of the month I keep track of. I have used this system for a couple of years to track eating, but it has grown over the last few months.
Connect The Dots –
Funny story I have some concentrate, and I never thought I’d say this, but it is nasty, gross, and makes you want to lose the contents of your stomach. However, I’ve tried it a couple of times now, and the flavor gets worse, if that’s possible, So I mixed it with some good-tasting concentrate. Let’s see if it helps. Have yall ever found a genuinely gross strain…I must hear your stories. Share below.
Current Worry: Money. Money has always caused me issues. I’ve never had any. I have always hated and found checking my bank account extremely stressful. Solution: It will get easier as time goes on. Just muscle through. You got this. Maybe a small treat at the end of the week or month as a conditioning technique.
Depression I have a lot of depression, especially after the couple of years we’ve had. Between spending weeks in the hospital, being flat broke, and eating ice cubes as something to crunch, I guess. My suicide attempts x3 one. I took the pills by accident. We had to call medics to meet us off the grid for help. Living daily with no power except 2 hours a day (generator).
In all of these scenarios, I was sick with kidney infections and a deteriorating bladder to the point of surgery removing it and leaving me with an inner bag that I have to catheterize; however, it is much better now. I need to sit and think, take my five minutes of quiet time and then reply to each other, NOT respond.
Wake-Up with a Mantra:
Wake up with a purpose.
The monsters are gone, and it’s my turn to shine.
This shall pass
Breath INNNNN, and Outtttt, you got this
I am safe; it will be ok.
I am A worthy person.
Another day, do what you can; you got this.
Endless Worry is never practical.
Breathe in and out and talk to hubby early on and work together.
Honesty is the best policy.
Take Belly Breaths: Instructions:
1. Sit or lay down in a comfortable position.
2. Place one hand on your stomach just below your ribs and the other on your chest.
3. Take deep breaths through your nose and push your belly outward. Your chest should not be moving.
4. Breath out through pursed lips (almost like whistling). Notice the hand on your belly move back and forth as you exhale.
5. Repeat steps 3 and 4 five to ten times. Remember, take your time.
Draw Your Worries: As I have always maintained, I suck at drawing. I am much better with words. So in this exercise, I will be writing it out.
1. I worry about money and the lack thereof, and it’s only getting worse with inflation; it honestly scares me. We pay $1200. a month in just fuel for him to get back and forth to work; that’s just under half of his monthly salary. My electric bill last month alone was over $400, and we live in a 43ft trailer. We desperately need tires for the truck, food, truck insurance, tv(like Netflix), and anything else that we need that my social security covers.
2. I worry about my furbaby Raffey. I believe it is that time for him, and I fear I will make the wrong choice keeping him alive or having him put down; either way, I don’t want him in pain, and I don’t want him to die alone with me to help ease the stress on him.
4. I worry about paying bills.
5. I worry about falling asleep.
6. I worry about our country and her people in these challenging times.
7. and my normal worried is hubby mad at me?
Reroute the train wreck of thought: Have you ever had that one day that is so horrible but won’t end, and things seem to get worse? Your alarm didn’t go off, and you an hour late, and you jumped into the shower only to discover the water heater went out. You can’t call off for fear of losing your job, and you have no vacation time, and on and on as all of these things start to compile. Your thoughts will start going down that dark hallway of paranoia. Is my boss really mad or just being tolerant? Susie, my cubical mate, looks mad because she had to finish one of my invoices and blah blah blah. as all these thoughts get wilder and darker is what the train wreck of thoughts looks like.
Detour: A guided Detour Guide fill in below
Yes I, __________ (your MIstake) and I feel __________ about it but you know what? everyone makes mistakes. It’s part of that whole being the human thing I signed up for. And I did what I needed to do to remedy that situation, such as ___________________ Next time, I’ll do better because I was given the opportunity to learn from this!
Look at What’s Going Right What’s going right?
1. Hubbies and my relationship has never been better. We have our disagreements, but it’s really good.
2. I’m writing again
3. I’m learning so much online or On The Line, lol.
4. I’m getting my weird sense of humor back.
5. I have been paying the bills on time for the past six months!!!
Draw Your jealousy: I’m not a jealous person. I was abused as a kid, so I’m extremely guarded. Hubby and I’ve known and/or been together for the past 20 years, and I still have been opening up more and more, especially since my brother and I’ve been opening up about our abuse as kids. I do, however, detach. I can and have walked away cold turkey just like an addiction. I will warn and warn until the day I say I’m done, just like erasing a contact on the phone. You are no longer a part of my world.
We are almost done with The Anti Anxiety Workbook. We have learned so much about how to lessen the effects of Anxiety and how to start taking control back and living a little bit of a happier life.
Think of someone you think is cool, self-confident, someone you admire. Someone you would like to emulate both physically and mentally. It can be someone you really know or an actor/actress, a singer or musician, or even a fictional character or even a superhero.
Close your eyes. What are their qualities, how do they talk, and how do they hold themselves?
The person I want to model is myself ten years from now. I will be grateful but clumsy. I will be well-read and confident. Mature but easily provoked into a mental youth that keeps me going. My body scared and beautifully broken. I will have published my end of days books with some popularity. I will still look like me, just more refined and put together a little better. I will still do the majority of my editing and writing at night when it’s the quietest and work most days on the farm. Caring for the animals, gardens, and 200 plants grow. I will still have situational insomnia; the dr.s say my demons will keep that fire burning. I’ve spent 50 years of my life tormented by my demons I did not want or choose, but they hold on tight through this roller coaster ride. My hubby and I will be going on 30 years of friendship and 20 years as partners and best friends. Being poor most of my life, I will be humble and down to earth as I would make enough money not to worry. And the constant nag of suicide banging down the door will finally be quiet and leave me a little better friends with myself.
Two coloring pages “Love the life you lead, live the life you love” and courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to overcome it.”
The Boat Anxiety VS Truth
Anxiety is a lie 99% of the time, the fear of the unknown. We usually, as humans, will look at the worst-case scenario. You have to conduct a meeting, and you think you won’t make it. The truth is there is no reason for it to go wrong. All you need to do is prepare for the meeting. Your wife or husband is 10 minutes late. You start to worry. He/she must have had an accident. Stop right there! The most likely reason is that he /she left work a little late. Remember, Anxiety is not reality. It’s the fear of the future, of the hypothetical event that exists only in your imagination.
Anxiety VS Truth
Now that we have realized that what causes our Anxiety is not the truth let’s try an exercise: Create two boxes. In the box on the left, write down what makes you anxious. In the box on the right, write down what is real and true, and on the line below, write an actual action.
1. I have several anxiety triggers when it comes to daily living. I want hubby to come home to a clean, organized home, and I’m always apologizing. The truth is, he doesn’t really care. The trailer stays relatively clean most days, and if I don’t get something done, I can always do it tomorrow.
2. I get anxious whenever I check my bank account. I’m 47 years old, learning for the first time how to budget appropriately. I’ve lived most of my life borrowing from peter to pay paul to the point of having services shut off for non-payment. Action is to force myself to check the bank account every day, powering my way through the Anxiety. I’ve had a good teacher, and I got this.
3. I am very anxious about my dog Raffey dying. I don’t want him in pain. I know this is the process of life, and he’s had a good life. He will be my angel and help me fight my demons.
4. I get anxious being around new people, and our RV resort is going into its busy season. There are probably 50 people and eight horses here, but my Anxiety will only worsen within the next month. Truth is new people aren’t always bad as a matter of fact I could meet my new best friend. Action is just breath. You got this. Doing breathing exercises may take a little time to go through the door.
I want to thank yall for joining me in learning how to quiet my demons, but I really want to know how this has helped you and if there is anything you guys that I haven’t mentioned here…